second opinion

My husband and kids arrived and luckily he was thinking

straight, as he commenced asking questions, and then

finally asked for a second opinion.

The next doctor was very clear with his explanation and let us know both

sides of the story. He informed us of not being able to terminate in the

NT as I was too far gone and I would have to fly to Western Australia if

that was our wish, but also said she had a slight chance of surviving the

birth and that if she did she wouldn't have a high quality of life. At least

he left it to us to go away and think about a decision and get back to

him. I felt no pressure from him to terminate this pregnancy, unlike the

first doctor. All he asked was that if we decided to go ahead with the

pregnancy he wanted us to head to Adelaide to meet the team who

would deliver and look after her.

We left the office with me in tears and Josh quietly thinking. He was

upset but as most males stayed strong and didn't show the emotion.

It was the longest and quietest 5 hour trip back to Tennant Creek we

have ever made. I held my tummy and looked up at the sky all the way.

In my head I was talking to my unborn baby girl, telling her to hang in

there, that we had things to do together. She was kicking away,

unaware of what her parents had just been told and the decision which

was ahead of us. I felt she was strong. I was also talking to my parents

who had both passed away asking them to watch over us at this

upsetting time. I do not know if Josh and I had a conversation or not

during those 5 hours.

Upon our return I went straight to bed and curled myself up in the

foetal position and just cried. Why was this happening to me? Was this

punishment for Jakob? Or something else I had done in my life. I am by

no means a religious person but these questions kept going round and

round in my head. I knew I couldn't go through another labour just to

give birth to a dead baby.



This was so unfair. Life was so unfair.